Don't Say Goodbye
by Foxy527
Summary: Catherine is leaving, but it's hitting Steve harder than expected this time. Will he finally tell her how he feels? WARNING: Contains spoilers for 2.04. Rated "M" just to be safe.


**(SPOILER ALERT FOR EPISODE 2.04). I was so happy to see that Catherine was finally back in last night's episode. Call me crazy, but I have always felt she was a "stabilizer" in Steve's life. That's why I was nearly heartbroken at the end of the episode when we found out she was being sent to the Gulf and leaving for an undetermined amount of time. The disappointment on Steve's face as well as hers was palpable. This story is a "one shot" of what I imagined might have happen before Catherine left town. **

**I gave this an M rating just to be safe. Although there are no explicit love scenes, the sex is 'implied' so I figured it was better to be safe that sorry. **

**DISCLAIMER: The characters are not mine and this is purely a work of my own imagination. No copyright infringement is intended!**

She was leaving. As soon as the words came out of her mouth, they hit Steve like a ton of bricks. He and Catherine were used to separations because of their jobs, but this time it felt different. In the weeks that had passed since he was falsely accused and later acquitted of Governor Jameson's murder, Steve had leaned on Catherine more than anyone knew. Even though she had been deployed and they hadn't actually seen each other during those weeks, hearing her voice on the other end of the phone had been a shelter for him and allowed him to let down his guard emotionally. He had been looking forward to having her back on land so they could spend some time together during her upcoming leave. He would never admit it, but he had actually counted down the days until he could see her again.

But now those plans had been circumvented. She had just gotten back home the day before and found out she was being deployed immediately to go to the Gulf for an undetermined amount of time. There was no warning and no time to catch up. Steve felt his heart constrict and a lump form in his throat as he heard her say the words. As he looked at her, she offered him a weak smile but the sadness in her beautiful brown eyes told him she was feeling the disappointment too. Trying to lighten the mood, if only for a moment, Steve suggested that they meet somewhere….anywhere….during her absence to get some time together. At this point, he would have flown to the ends of the Earth to meet her if only for a night. She told him that would be nice, so they left it open for later discussion.

Not able to fight the urge any longer, he pulled Catherine into his arms and held her close. He breathed in the scent of her hair and willed it into his memory. He didn't want to let her go; Not this time. As he held her tightly to him, he didn't see the tears forming in her eyes until they broke the embrace and looked at each other once again. He could see the emotion she was trying so hard to control and it broke his heart.

"I should probably get home to pack….Guess I'll be seeing you, Commander." She offered weakly.

Steve felt as if his voice had disappeared as he struggled to find something to say. "I'll call you." He promised.

Catherine moved to leave but Steve grabbed her arm just before she was out of his reach. "Cath, wait." He pleaded as he pulled her back to him to cup her face in his hands and kiss her with all of the passion he felt inside. Steve had never been one for public displays of affection but at this point, he didn't care if anyone saw them. He was going to miss her and he needed her to know that. Reluctantly, they pulled apart once again and said a final "goodbye". Then, Catherine walked out of his office and Steve could only stand there and watch her go.

H50 H50 H50

Danny walked into headquarters just as Catherine Rollins was leaving. Normally, seeing Catherine around would mean Super SEAL would be in a great mood. She had an incredibly calming effect on Steve that Danny had come to admire. His instincts told him something was wrong this time, though. He'd seen pain in her eyes as she passed him to leave. Danny made his way into the 5-0 offices and found Steve staring out the window. Danny waited a few moments, and when Steve continued to stand there looking blankly out the window, Danny opened the door to his office and poked his head inside.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"She's gone." was all Steve would say.

"What do you mean….gone?"

Steve turned around and Danny was struck by the sadness he saw in Steve's eyes as well. Steve sighed, "She's being deployed to the Gulf and they're leaving tonight."

"Wait….Didn't she just get home?"

"Yeah….yesterday….but they've got a mission that's putting all shore leave on hold. They're going back out tonight."

"For how long?" Danny asked.

"Who knows. Could be weeks….Could be months."

_Months, Danny thought. No wonder Steve seemed down. _Danny could almost feel the pain Steve was feeling in knowing Catherine would be gone so long.

A knowing look crossed his face, "You love her, don't you?"

Steve looked at Danny again, "What?"

"You, Steven McGarrett, are in love with Catherine Rollins. Admit it."

Steve hesitated for only a moment before he said, "Yeah. I am."

"And have you _told_ her that you love her?"

Steve just looked at him, so Danny answered his own question, "Of course you haven't told her. That would mean making yourself vulnerable and we all know vulnerability is not one of your strong suits." He shook his head in disbelief.

Steve looked a little annoyed at Danny's observation, but had to admit he was right.

After a few moments of silence, Danny said, "So why are you standing around here moping?"

"_Moping? _Danny, what are you talking about? What am I supposed to do? She's leaving _tonight_."

"Right. She leaves _tonight_ and it is currently mid afternoon. If I was a guy in love with a girl who was getting ready to leave for a few months, I would be with her every second I could…Even if it meant helping her pack."

Realization hit Steve. "You're right."

Danny's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me…what did you just say? Did you say I am_ right_?"

Steve couldn't help but smirk at the shock on his partners face. "Yes Danny. You're _right_. Now, if you don't mind, I have some place I need to be." He grabbed his cell phone and keys from his desk and moved quickly to leave his office.

Danny was grinning from ear to ear as he watched Steve leave. Catherine was good for Steve; The entire team knew that. It was high time Steve had figured it out too. Danny just hoped they could find a way to make their crazy schedules work together eventually.

H50 H50 H50

Steve pulled into Catherine's driveway and sat in his truck for a moment before making his way to her front door to ring the doorbell. It took her only a few minutes to open.

"Steve." she looked surprised and confused at the same time. She smiled at him in greeting and he felt his heart tug again. _She's so beautiful, _he thought to himself.

"Hey Cath. I…..uh….I…decided you might need some help…..Packing, I mean." He smiled back at her and held up a pizza box. "So I brought an early dinner."

She smiled at him and motioned for him to come inside.

He followed her into the kitchen and went to the refrigerator for drinks while she hunted for plates. "So how long before you have to go?" he asked.

"2200 hours."

Steve looked at his watch. That gave them five hours. Not wanting to waste any time with her, he walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist as he leaned down to kiss the spot on her neck that always drove her crazy. Catherine sat the plates down on the counter and moved her hands on top of Steve's. He turned her around and took her mouth in his leaving no doubt that the hunger he was feeling had nothing to do with dinner….and everything to do with her. Catherine's need was mirroring his own as she kissed him back with equal hunger. Steve was a talented and generous lover so being without his touch for several weeks had left her body wanting….craving. As they continued to kiss and caress each other, a soft moan escaped her lips. "I need you, Steve. Right now," she whispered. That was all the encouragement he needed. Her desire for him nearly drove him to the edge as he lifted her legs around his waist and carried her to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and moved on top of her as he began covering her with gentle kisses and soft touches.

As they made love, Catherine sensed a change in Steve that hadn't been there during their last time together. Steve could be wild and passionate or strong and slow depending on their mood and how much time they had together. But this time she sensed an emotional connection with him unlike anything they'd shared before. She knew Steve cared about her, but there were certain parts of his heart that were always closed off no matter how close they got to each other. Until now. Instinctively she knew something had changed.

After they both felt the release they had craved, they lay quietly in each others arms. Catherine loved the feel of his body against hers. He had the body of every woman's dreams: Strong and firm but gentle when he was loving her. A woman couldn't help but feel safe tucked into a body like that. She tried to revel in the feeling she knew would be gone in a few short hours.

Steve stroked her back gently. "Cath, I need to tell you something and it's important to tell you before you go."

Catherine propped herself up on one elbow to look him in the eyes. She'd seen him with dark, serious eyes before, but now she saw something different. It was a difference she hadn't dared to believe could exist, but now it was undeniable. The look she had longed to see in his eyes was finally there. Without saying anything, she just smiled at him to continue.

As if trying to find the courage to put words to his feelings, Steve took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "I love you, Catherine. I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize it…but I am completely and totally in love with you."

Tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill over as she replied, "I love you too, Steve. I've loved you for quite awhile actually, but I didn't know if you felt the same way."

"We're used to separations, but I have to be honest with you and tell you that this one hit me harder than usual. You've been there for me like no one else these last few weeks. Whenever I needed to talk, you were the one I wanted to call. You calmed me down and made me feel centered again. I've never felt like that with anyone…..Ever. When you told me you were being called back out already after just getting back home, it scared me a little." He pulled her up effortlessly so she was laying on top of him again and cupped her face in his hands, "I couldn't let you leave again without telling you how I felt."

Catherine kissed him softly. "I'm glad you told me. I'm going to miss you so much, Steve."

Steve pulled her down so her head was resting on his chest as he held her close again. "I'm going to miss you, too, Babe. But listen, I'll fly somewhere to meet you while you're gone. Just tell me when & where and I'll find a way to be there. I'm not going to let months go by without seeing you. I'm not letting you go."

They made love once more before reluctantly getting up to eat their dinner, which now had to be reheated, and to finish packing Catherine's things. Then, Steve drove her to the Naval base. Steve wouldn't say "Goodbye", but insisted that they say, "See you laters" instead. With one last kiss and whispered "I love you's" once again, they pulled apart and Steve watched her start towards the ship that would take her far from him once again. Before boarding, she turned once more to look at the gorgeous man who'd stolen her heart, "See you later, Commander."

"Not soon enough, Lieutenant." He smiled and winked at her before she walked out of his view.


End file.
